


this home

by cacodaemonia



Category: f(x)
Genre: F/F, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-08
Updated: 2014-10-08
Packaged: 2018-02-20 09:29:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2423726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cacodaemonia/pseuds/cacodaemonia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Going on a road trip, just the three of them, is the first of Amber's Bad Life Decisions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	this home

**Author's Note:**

> a remix of [homesick for a place that doesn't exist](http://scarredknees.livejournal.com/7238.html) by [scarredknees](http://scarredknees.livejournal.com/) for [kpop ficmix 2014](http://kpop-ficmix.livejournal.com/)!! your work was a pleasure to read and remix c: and i'm grateful to the mod(s) for putting up with me lmao. go read the other fics!! gogogo

Maybe this was a bad idea. When they're together, all five, Amber doesn't really think about it, because they're f(x), they're a team, and Krystal's kicking her shin underneath the table and Qian's laughing at her pain and Sunyoung can smile at her and Jinri can call her hyung and it'll still be okay, because Amber _just doesn't think about it_. It's different, when they're alone, the three of them, Amber in the driver's seat, Jinri's soft hands kneading away the pain in her neck and Sunyoung's soft snores not completely drowned out by the radio, turned up just enough for background noise. Amber thinks about it.

"What are you thinking about, unnie?" Jinri asks quietly, voice close enough to Amber's ear that Amber tenses up in surprise.

"I'm," she starts, too loud. She winces and lowers her voice. "Thinking about, you know, things. Nothing much really."

"Wow," Jinri replies drily. Her facial features are soft and pretty, but Jinri knows how to sharpen the tone of her voice until it cuts. She isn't doing that now, just revealing a little bit of her edge, teasing. "That's really profound."

"Thanks," Amber says, and she can see Jinri roll her eyes out of her peripheral vision.

"All jokes aside, what is it?"

Amber doesn't talk about it.

 

 

It's the second night, and Jinri's braiding Sunyoung's hair, and Amber's letting Sunyoung paint her toe nails. Sunyoung's laughing because she's making an absolute mess of it, movements sloppy with alcohol in her system. Sunyoung's always so beautiful when she laughs.

"Hey," Amber drawls, and her brain-to-mouth filter is absolute shit normally, but when she's inebriated, it's non-existent. "I love you," she says to Sunyoung, holding her face between her palms.

"I love you too," Sunyoung says with a giggle, and she's flushed a pretty pink, even more of a lightweight then Amber is.

"No," Amber makes a frustrated noise in the back of her throat. "Like, I _love_ you. And you!" she turns to Jinri, pointing a shaky finger at her. "I love you too!"

Sunyoung pulls her face out of Amber's grasp and looks back and forth between the two of them, and then Jinri and Sunyoung are both bursting into laughter.

"What's so funny?" Amber asks, and she sounds like a petulant child, she knows. Neither of the girls reply. Amber downs another shot of soju.

 

 

"Hey," says Amber, slurring. Sunyoung is passed out in her lap. Tolerance is half experience, half genetics, and Sunyoung lacks both. "Hey, I wasn't kidding, you know."

"About what?" says Jinri, and she's so much closer to sober than Amber is.

"Being in love with you," Amber says. "And Sunyoung."

"Oh," says Jinri.

"Oh?" Amber replies, cocking an eyebrow with more confidence than she feels. She already knows she's going to regret this in the morning.

"I don't… I don't really know what you want me to say," Jinri bites her bottom lip. "I don't…"

Jinri's silence is telling. Amber knew this would happen, really. It's probably why she's kept it in and ignored it for so long, bubbling inside of her until a few shots of alcohol loosened her tongue and opened the floodgates. The soju was her idea in the first place. Amber should've known better, but maybe, this time, she couldn't quite bring herself to care. Maybe she was tired.

"It's okay," Amber tries to smile, but it probably ends up a pained grimace. "I already knew."

"Hyung," Jinri says, grabbing Amber's hand. "Amber-unnie. I'm sorry."

"No, don't be," Amber's voice cracks a little. She hopes she's the only one who can hear it. "You probably think it's silly. Heck, I think it's silly. I'm in love with two people instead of one, and we're all girls besides. "

"Unnie," Jinri says. "I'm not going to pretend I know what you're going through, but I know you can't control who you fall in love with. Otherwise, everybody would be a lot happier."

"Punk," Amber nudges Jinri with her shoulder, careful not to jostle Sunyoung. "When did you get so grown up?"

Jinri rolls her eyes and nudges back. "I think you should talk about this to Sunyoung-unnie. I really do."

 

 

On the third day, Amber's probably a little too hung over to drive to the best of her ability. Jinri's chirpy but without a license, and Sunyoung still needs more sleep despite her eyes already being swollen with it, so Amber still ends up in the driver's seat.

"Talk to her," Jinri mouths when Amber catches her eye in the rear view mirror. She points at Sunyoung, sleeping soundly on her shoulder.

Amber shakes her head and turns back to the road when Jinri pouts.

"Tell her," Jinri says, as she follows Amber into the restroom.

"No," Amber says, turning on the tap and splashing her face with water. She still looks like death warmed over when she sees her reflection in the mirror.

"Why not?"

"Because," Amber says, "I mean, look how well it went with you."

"That's different," Jinri frowns. "Look, I'm - I don't like girls in that way. But sometimes, I see the way Sunyoung-unnie looks at you, and it's like how you look at her."

Amber makes a noise of disbelief.

"I'm serious!" Jinri exclaims. "Unnie, with me, you said you already knew what would happen, right? We all know each other so well, I'm sure you've noticed. Me and Sunyoung-unnie, we're different people - think, and think properly, about what could happen with unnie, and not what happened with me."

 

 

Jinri and Sunyoung are curled up on either side of her, taking up much less space of Sunyoung's parents' king-sized bed than two fully-grown women and one still-growing girl should be. Amber hasn't taken in anything that happened in the last few movies that they've watched, Jinri's words making her fidget uncomfortably, lost in her head.

"How are you not crying?" says Sunyoung, digging her toes into Amber's calf.

"I-" Amber starts, before Jinri cuts her off with a snort.

"Unnie wasn't paying attention."

Sunyoung hits Amber on the arm. "Why? What were you thinking about?" she asks, turning on her side so that she's looking straight into Amber's eyes.

Amber talks about it.

 

 

"We're home," Sunyoung calls out as she pushes the door to the dorm open, clear voice ringing out across the apartment. Qian and Krystal aren’t home. The place looks exactly as they had left it.

"Well," Jinri sighs, sitting down on the couch. "Looks like nothing changed while we were gone."

"I think quite a lot did," Sunyoung replies shyly, looking at Amber. "We should go together, all five of us next time."


End file.
